How to sort of BE a dragon?
by CreeperBlast
Summary: I cut off the morning raid and search of the movie, have Hiccup kill Toothless, and grant a magical gift. But, whaaat! ToothCup romance! But Toothless is dead! So? I'll do as I please woth MY story, though this does not mean I will reject any and all input, i want opinions and ideas. WRITTEN ON A DAMN IPHONE! Female!Toothless You!Suck (not really I don't know you)
1. Chapter 1

Hiccup looks at the dead dragon before him. The yellow green light of the sun through the leaves makes the drake's black scales look unusual. The gash in it's chest is an empty hole, where the beast's heart used to be. White blood spatters the ground and covers Hiccup, who is holding the beating white heart he grabbed from the bloody hole.

Hiccup looks at the heart with a scowl, and pockets it, grumbling about how tough the demon's hide was. Snapping twigs and stomping through the forest, a new energy fills him. He knows, THIS is the feeling of becoming a man, becoming a viking.

He walks into the village, a smirk upon his face and a disdainful look in his eyes for everyone he meets. Upon reaching his home at the top of the hill where his house is, he finds his father, Stoik the vast, outside of their home. "Where've you been so-" he starts, but notices his son is covered in white blood, "Why are you covered in... That?"

Hiccup says nothing, instead, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out the heart which still beats (and will do so forever, mind you, if not consumed or otherwise ingested) and hands it to his father. "What-t i-is th-this-s...?" His father is absolutely horrified as he says this, because his son has gone, in an instant, from a sniveling wimp to what you might call a badass.

"That, Dad," Hiccup points to the heart as he wipes some blood off, finally realizing it was there, "Is the heart of the beast everyone keeps saying I have not killed. I have killed. And it was good. I'd like to wash this off, have fun with the heart." And walks off, to clean up.

Hiccup walks through the middle of the village towards the stream where he could wash off, and bumped into Astrid. "Watch where you're going, useless!" She yells, having not yet noticed the blood which was drying and dying his clothes brighter colors. Hiccup had long since had enough of that nickname, but only now had he the courage to respond.

"Why don't you fuck off, Whore?" Hiccup says flatly, plainly, and loudly enough for not only her, but others to hear as well.

"What did you say?" Her eye twitches a bit as she saya this and her face is slightly reddened.

"Fuck. Off. Whore. I knew you weren't smart but you should at least understand that." Hiccup did not change anything about how he says that. It was just as plain flat and loud as his last words.

Hiccup went on to his original destination as he had planned, leaving behind a slouching, red, downright STEAMING Astrid. Humming to himself a battle hymn, the only one he had bothered to remember, in fact, he strolls to the edge of the village where he has to leave a very damaged nose on a Snotlout for pissing him off.

As Hiccup washes himself, he finds himself very hungry, for meat were he to be specific, but he isn't sure what kind if meat...

- With Stoik -

Gobber sits across the table from Stoik in the great hall, which was more dimly lit than usual, the heart in between the two of them. "Gobber, my son killed a dragon, and this is it's heart. I can't make sense of it, can you?" Stoik asks his friend, the concern evident in his eyes. "I can't make sense of it much either," Gobber says in that Scottish accent of his that isn't NEAR thick enough for me to write his speech differently, " He constantly talks about killing dragons, sure, but he actually went and did it? Impossible. And yet, it happened, nonetheless."

Hey, guys, CreeperBlast here. This is my first fanfiction so tell me what you think, BTW, not uploading Ch.2 until review #2, understand? So review, and receive. Supply and demand. You demand, I supply. See ya later!


	2. Chapter 2

Hiccup lightly holds his stomach as he walks back into his home and immediately starts looking for some salted meats. He eats his fill, including some bread of course. Whatever he was craving, he didn't get it, but it wasn't bad. He finds his way to the fireplace, and sits down to enjoy the heat.

- With Stoik-

-(Still in the great hall)-

Gobber looks to Stoik and tells him, "Your son has killed a dragon, but I doubt that dragon gave a big fight. You'll need to put him in dragon training." Stoik looks Gobber in the eyes, clearly scared by everything, but nods his head and says, "I'll tell my son."

Stoik waits a few minutes for everyone to show up. "We need to make another search, before the ice sets in," Stoik says in a commanding voice, "They'll find a new home! They'll leave if we can find them!"

"Yeah?" A viking calls out, "The day your son kills a dragon is the day we actually have a chance of finding the nest."

Stoik grabs the heart from his pocket and holds it in the air, "So you're with me then." When everyone realized that Stoik was saying that his son had actually killed a dragon, they were suddenly filled with a confidence that they may actually have a chance to find the nest, and drive the dragons off.

As everyone heads to the ships, Stoik heads to his home to speak with Hiccup. Hiccup is sitting on front of the fire, feeling it's warmth. "Son," Stoik starts, and Hiccup snorts as he is awakened having had fallen asleep in front of the fire. "Hey, Dad," Hiccup says, rubbing his eye, "What's up?"

"I just wanted to tell you that you'll be going to dragon training, and that I'll be heading off to find the nest." The last part makes Hiccup feel a bit weird, unpleasant somehow, but it doesn't matter much to him.

"Thank you, Dad! This is so wonderful, thank you!"

"You're welcome, son."

So, yeah, I know this chapter's kinda short, but it's still good though right? Also I'm thinking of making a Pokemon fanfiction. I want to know what you guys think. My three favorite things, 1. Pokemon 2. Minecraft and 3. Fireflies (The song). But HTTYD is a close Fourth. Ponies would be number 7 at least.


	3. Chapter 3

BigJ - You don't even know where I'm headed with this, what do you mean by that? JK, Thanks!

Sneaky - I'm so damn sorry but no, thats not how it works here... He still has one more trial. It involves sex- no. No, not really. BUT MABYE! It's already written to the fourth chapter. Maybe some sex in number five?... NOPE!

Vader - Thank you! Twice!

JuneTooth - Thank you, and it's explained up here, next.

Also, keep in mind, Hiccup is having mood swings because of what he did. He'll be him a few days and then, BAM! Asshole time! Even after... Certain... Events... MUHAHAHA!11!1II!1i1!one1!exclamation-mark!1!

-Hiccup Pov-

I can't see! Why the hell can't I see?! Wha... What's this...? I find myself staring face to face with a spiky black dragon, who seems to be doing... Absolutely nothing. And then it speaks.

[Child... I am Zarton. No. No, more guttural than that. Yes, yes. Just like that. Anyway, you have killed the Gift. The Gift is actually not a dragon, but a challenge, for those who can slay it become, over a period of days, a being who can be either human or dragon. An Iklin. This is a great honor, and I expect you, thought it is not required to, I expect you to revel in this honor. That wasn't the right word, buuuuuut, you're waking up now and I still don't know what word I'm searching for. I will see you... Uh... In a couple years?]

I wake up in my bed, not believing what just happened to me, but, it doesn't matter. I have dragon training today and that's important.

I get dressed and find my way to the arena. I sneak in behind the others and listen to their conversation.

"Wow," Ruffnut says, "So this is dragon training... I hope I get some mauling, like on my shoulder or lower back." "Yeah," Astrid says, "It's only fun if you get a scar out of it." I sneak up behind the twins, grab the back of their throats and say, as creepily as I can muster, "I know right?! Paaaaaaaiiiiiiinnnn! Mmmmm, LOVE IT!"

Ruffnut starts heaving and crying a bit and Tuffnut seems to have had a heart attack. Astrid looks at me as though I've grown dragon wings and spit fire, and Snotlout is slowly backing away. Fishlegs was too deep in thought to notice at the time, and still is.

"Uh, can we get transferred to the class with the cool Vikings?" Snotlout says, recollecting himself.

"That would be this class, stupid. WELCOME TO DRAGON TRAINING!" I yell, seeing as I'm the only NOT cool kid here.

Gobber gives me a look and exclaims, "Hiccup! What in the name of- y' know what? Doesn't matter." And introduces each of the dragons.

The last dragon he introduces is the Gronckle. When he makes a move to open the gate, Snotlout exclaims, "Wait! Aren't you going to teach us first?!" To which Gobber responds, "Well, how else would I teach you? Imaginary dragons?" And flips the lever.

"Quick! What's the first thing you're going to need?" Gobber yells. "+5 Speed?" Fishlegs guesses. "Some real armor?" I guess. "A shield!" Astrid yells. "Yes Astrid, and Hiccup's would be helpful too."

"Now rember," Gobber continues as the teens all rush for shields, "Your most important price of equipment is your shield. Sword or shield? Shield please."

[Whats going on?! Graaa! Humans! I've got to kill them before they get me!] The dragon says playfully. "Wait, what?!" I shriek in confusion. My figure slacks as I am picking up my shield, and Gobber shoves it in my arms, before pushing me into battle.

The dragon shoots the shield out of Ruffnut and Tuffnut's hands, as they were bickering over the shield. [Hahaha! You're dead!] The dragon yells gleefully and heads for a new target. "Ruffnut, Tuffnut, out." Gobber yells. Is this a game to that Gronkle?! I run away like the other cowardice Vikings-in-training.

"Quick, how many shots does a Gronkle have?" Gobber yells to us. Why the hell not? "Dragons don't have bows, Gobber!" I yell to him, with a smirk on my face, which earns me an index-finger wag from Gobber. "Five!" Snotlout yells, which is countered by Fishlegs with a, "No, six!" Gobber yells to Fishlegs in a congratulatory tone, "That's right, one for each of you!"

Fishlegs does a quick little dance and then realizes what Gobber said, as the Gronckle shoots the shield from his hand, which he responds to by running away, screaming like a little man-girl thing... Ye know whit ah mean. [Hahaha! Another kill, hmm, I'll save that scrawny one for last, he's so cute!] The Gronkle says excitedly and hopefully.

Why is that Gronkle complimenting me? Wait, was that a compliment? It can't possibly be flirting with me! Wait, does it even know I understand it? Can I even actually understand it? What if I'm going crazy? I don't understaaaaaaaaaaannnnd!

While I was thinking those things, Snotlout was taken out as he attempted to flirt with Astrid, and Astrid was right next to me. When I realized this I said to her, somewhat awkwardly, "So, just you and me, huh?" She says, "Nope, just you." As she dodges the fireball. The fireball hits my shield, but doesn't shatter it, instead sending it rolling off.

I chase my shield as the Gronkle chases me, saying [Oh, dang, I'd better chase the little cute one down, now.] WHY does this dragon have such an obsession with me. Wait, no, that's not the right term. Anyway, I fall against the rock walls of the arena and the Gronkle gets up close and in my face and prepares to shoot... The wall just above my head.

"HICCUP!" Gobber yells, running for me. This disorients the Gronkle as it aims a bit too low and shoots me in the face. "NOOO! HICCUP!" Gobber yells, falling on his, uh... Knee, and his eyes begin to water as he is about to cry. However, when the smoke clears in but a moment, I am perfectly fine, if a bit sooty.

The Gronkle floats back into its cage, a bit sullen, clearly thinking it killed me. I regain my bearings before standing up and walking over to Gobber, who has begun crying into his... Hand. I pat him on the back and say, "I don't know how, but I'm fine. A bit sooty and uncomfortable, but otherwise fine." The others stare at me as if I'm some sort of demon. Gobber is relieved beyond belief, giving me a hug, and saying, "H-how is this possible?"

"I said I don't know how, but I may have an idea... I'll have to ask Gothi."

I walk to Gothi's home, hoping to get some answers, with Gobber following behind. When we get there, and I've described the whole situation to her, including the dream, she scratches something in the dirt floor. "Well," Gobber says, looking at the dirt scratches, "It seems as though that dragon god you talked to wasn't lying. You, uh, yeah... Dragons and... I'll keep it a secret don't you worry." I look at the two of them, felling a bit concerned for myself, and say, "I'll just tell the others that they're crazy, the fireball missed..." And why the hell not, "Think I have a chance with any of those dragons? The Nadder? The Gronkle, perhaps?"

"Whaddya mean?" He clearly missed the joke.

"The Gronkle seemed to be flirting with me, and the Nadder... Seemed female? Oh, also, it was intended to be a joke."

"Oh, ooooohhhhh, I get it," he says, catching on, "Seems as though you'd go for the Nadder though doesn't it? Prettier."

Gobber walks me back home, and once we reach my home, I ask him the all important question, "Why aren't you going to tell on me?" Gobber looks at me and sighs, saying, "Well, Hiccup, it's because I trust you, dragon or no, considering how well I know you. You can't be trusted with machinery, and you can be trusted with loyalty, maybe not following ALL the rules, but I know you don't mean poorly."

"Thanks , Gobber." And I walk back into my home, immediately heading for bed.

DAMN. This was longer than expected. Did I make any grammatical errors? I'm practically a kid, but I'm a perfectionist, so tell me if I made any errors. Also, if you haven't noticed, this story is only for those who have watched the movie. If you hadn't noticed that, you clearly need to go watch it, or you won't know what they look or sound like, minus my little hints here and about. Was that a phrase, even? LONG AUTHOR'S NOTE POWERS ACTIVATE! *pop*


	4. Chapter 4

Sneaky - thnx bro. If you ARE a bro... o.0

Aqua - thanks! Your username seems feminine, are you female? Hey I asked the huma- no, maybe... The intelligent life for- no, maybe... The intelligent thing I addressed first.

*Sniff* over 400 views... *Sniff* THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!

-Hiccup POV-

I'm flying through the sky, my best friend in the whole world, the Night Fury Toothless, beneath me. I shift my foot position and we turn left, avoiding a rock pillar jutting from the ocean. I look to my left, and see the twins, riding on Barf and Belch, their Zippelback, as well as my cousin Snotlout, who is riding on his, somewhat uncooperative I might add, Nightmare, Hookfang. I look to my right, and I see Fishlegs and Astrid riding on Meatlug and Stormfly, a Gronkle and a Nadder, respectively.

I look down to Toothless, and tell him, "Alright, bud, let's show 'em how it's done!" I instinctively move my prosthetic, causing Toothless to make some impressive aerial maneuvers, and many purposeful close calls. Unfortunately, nobody sees the demon ahead.

He is a grey and black striped skeleton, minus the hips down, with skeletal bat wing protruding from his back, and in the place of hands, he has a dragon skull on his left arm, and an unusual skull on his right with three eyes jagged frills on the brow and overly pronounced canines and jaw, but is otherwise human.

"Hiccup," it says, getting everyone's attention as we begin to circle it so it can talk, "I am Saath, an Arch Demon. The Arch Demon of Possibility. I visit you in your sleep to show you what could have been. Now think back, find the memories of this you, and feel it all..." He fades into nothingness as I'm rapid transferred through other times and places.

I am in the forest, I free Toothless, and he pushes me against a rock and roars in my face. I sneak to the secret cove to give Toothless some fish in a basket. I use an eel to push a particularly scary Zippelback into it's cage, a trick I learned from Toothless. I cut leather and pound metal into shape, all for Toothless. I pull a string to guide Toothless' tail. I discover Toothless just loves to roll around in sweet grass. I begin testing my foot flying mechanism in action, discovering how Toothless acts when excited, with fire. I can't kill the nightmare, I just can't. I have to leave... I'm with the nightmare, trying to befriend it and dad almost gets me killed. My dad cages up and binds Toothless, and they go off to destroy the dragon nest, and kill Toothless' friends. I show the other teens that dragons are nice, and they help me save Toothless. I send the monster that controls the dragons to it's doom, barely avoiding my own. Feeling Toothless' loving embrace as he protects me, best he can from the blazing explosion...

I wake up, my tears all over my bed, feeling like a complete monster. I feel like how Vikings view dragons. Odin, WHAT HAVE I DONE?! I traded the peace of the village, and a best friend, for something as worthless as HONOR. What have I done...

The heart. The heart still beats, I-I can save Toothless. I have to. IT HAS TO WORK. My only chance at a friend, I screw up and I'm given a second one, it has to be done, I can't pass this up.

Dragon training was temporarily shut down, seeing my "shock" has temporarily made me unable to perform "correctly", so I am able to grab the heart, a medical sewing kit, and some healing salve. I put the heart carefully back into place, sew the veins and arteries back to it, and sew up the wound, also applying the salve.

The effects are almost ' eyes shoot open, and he is still in binds. He sees me with my medical equipment and asks, [Did you save me? Wait, wait, what am I saying? It doesn't understand me.] He doesn't remember I killed him. FUCK YEA! "No, bud, I can understand you, I found you here bleeding out and I sewed you up, spick and span, good as new! Well, not yet, at least, you still need to rest and heal... Oh! There's a cabin, completely deserted, that I sometimes pass on my forest walks! I'll take you there! I'm stronger than I look, after all."

[But, I, oh, fine... At least you're being nice.]

"Alright! C'me- sorry" I cut his binds, thereby freeing him.

Toothless' eyes flash blue several times, and his body morphs... Into a human shape. Draconian, but humanoid, and EXTREMELY female, if the D-cup breasts and long black hair are anything to go by. She stands 11 feet tall, covered in scales, same wings, same eyes, same tail, and her hair reaches her, and can't help but notice as a teen, very plump butt. Her hips and shoulders are quite wide as well, and she's quite thickset.

"No need to carry me," She says in Norse, and I notice she has a few teeth knocked out, "Just lead the way, I can walk."

So I turn her into a human, and then the ToothCup. ALWAYS the ToothCup. I hope the writer of "oh my gods" doesn't mind my using that quote. I'll bet you were thinking this WHOLE time, "What ToothCup? Toothless is dead!" Well I did what it took to make it work. Another modified quote from the same paragraph of the same story. FUNNN! Btw, dat (plump) ass! Apparently.


	5. Chapter 5

June - Not sure if that's a compliment, BUT I THINK IT IS! So, thanks!

Guest - Get the fuck back here! Whatever it is, I'll just send Carl!

Just so you know, updates are about to slow a bit because I'm going to start two more stories. A minecraft story and another HTTYD story.

-As of this moment unnamed female humanoid dragon with an (apparently) sexy ass' point of view-

Wow. That was... A very long name... I need a new name.

The Ilkin, Hiccup, is leading me down a dirty path, with me following shortly behind. Were anyone to see us as we traveled, they would find my following and his leading odd, given my stature.

I'll have to tell him soon. But I don't want to. But I have to. But why can't he EARN me as a mate instead of me being forced on him? He'd easily earn me. That's just not how it fucking works. Speaking of fucking, he is adolescent, he'll want to-

"Hey, Toothless?" Hiccup says. "Wha-Who?" I ask him.

"You."

"You want to call me Toothless?"

"Yeah. You lost some teeth, so it'd be a good name for you, don't you think?"

"Yeah, I guess that's a good name since you knocked my teeth out with your bola. Good shot, by the way."

"You... Remember that?"

"Yeah, I also remember you cutting my heart out."

"Uhh..." He looks like he's about to pass out from fear.

"Don't worry, I knew from the beginning that was going to happen. I'm just glad you passed the test because now we both get to live instead of both die."

"Uhh..."

"The first trial was getting me killed. The second was showing the compassion to let me live once more, to care about companionship more than honor or pride. You passed them both with flying colors!"

"Uhh... Oh, hey, look, we're here!" We come across the old cabin in the woods. "There's some hunting equipment in the so you can get some food and a bed. I've been in there before. I'll come by and see you tomorrow!" He says to me, happy we made it, I presume.

"Can't wait!" I call out to him and go in the house. Seeing as it was a bit after noon, I go hunting for something to eat with the bow and arrows I found inside.

-Hiccup POV-

I make my way back to the village, and by the time I got back, it was time to eat. I head to the great hall, where Gobber and the others are. I got there, and I tell everyone, "I'm feeling better now, we can do training tomorrow." The teens are quite relieved, and Gobber asks me, "You sure, Hiccup?"

"Yeah, Gobber, I'm good now. We can train."

In the morning I find my way to the arena. When I get there, I notice a maze has been set up. "Gobber, why a maze? I'm not questioning your methods, but, why? A maze?" Gobber looks at me and smirks, before saying, "You'll see."

Oh, gods do I SEE. A Nadder is chasing all of us around the maze as Gobber watches. "Today is all about attack! And on that note, the best place to attack from is their blind spot. Hel, every dragon has one, so find it, hide in it, and STRIKE! Don't try to apply this to people, though. Vikings aren't the smartest, I'm aware, and then there's the stupid Vikings, using dragon tactic against people. Don't do it." He tells us.

Ruffnut and Tuffnut stand directly in front, and Nadder complains, [Where ARE they? I can't see them!] the twins start arguing and the Nadder finds them.

Gobber yells down to us, "Blind spot, yes. Deaf spot, Mmm, natsammuch." Astrid is about to throw her weapon, when Snotlout stops her, "Hold on, babe, I got this." And throws his mace, missing. "The sun was in my eyes, Astrid! You want me to block out the sun, I could do that, but it'd take too long." Excuses excuses. Snotlout's out now too.

The Nadder chases Astrid across the maze, knocking down the walls, and Astrid ends up falling on me, her axe embedded in my shield. "Ooh, love on the battlefield!" Ruffnut teases. "She could do better." Tuffnut decides. She tugs and pushes her foot against me. Bad move, I got pissed.

I throw her off, and yell, "GET THE FUCK OFF ME YA DUMB CUNT!" I lever the axe out of my shield, and bash the Nadder's face with the blunt part of the head. I yell at the Nadder, "IS THIS A FUCKING JOKE TO YOU?! SAY YOU WERE RAIDING, YOU'D BE DEAD IMMEDIATELY! WE'RE TRAINING HERE! WE NEED DRAGONS THAT'LL TAKE THIS FUCKING SERIOUSLY!" To which the Nadder shrinks back, and crawls int her cage. "AND YOU!" Turning my attention to Astrid, "YOU COULD HAVE EASILY WRENCHED THE AXE OUT LIKE ME, BY PULLING IT FROM AN ANGLE! HAD YOU DONE THAT YOU'D HAVE LOOKED LESS STUPID!" Astrid just sits there on the ground, with her weight on her right arm, keeping her back off the ground, with a terrified look in her eyes.

I walk to the barricade that keeps the "out" kids safe, and I ask Ruffnut, " WHAT did I hear about LOVE ON THE BATTLEFIELD?!" "Ehehe, uh, nothing?" Is her pathetic excuse.

"That's what I thought. And YOU, Tuffnut, SHE COULD DO BETTER?!"

"No! No! Any girl would be honored to be with you!" He pathetically begs.

"I wouldn't go quite that far, but, THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT!" And I storm off into the forest to see Toothless.

It is the return if Asshole Hiccup! Or AssCup, if you like. I've noticed that I have quite a few views and favorites and follows, but I really would like more reviews. They are inspiring. So if you like this story, don't JUST favorite and follow, gimme a review! And can you guess the points of the trials? CreeperBlast is out and into that endless cave over there. See ya in a year!


	6. Chapter 6

So yeah, thanks for all the support, and I'm glad you all liked AssCup. Hehehe. So yeah, listen I know some of you don't like me starting another story halfway through the first, but if I want to be more responsible, I need to at least be able to balance daily life and three stories. AT LEAST. Also, I'm going with dwarf fortress HTTYD fanfiction. Also I just realized I mixed up Ruffnut and Tuffnut last chapter. Sorry.

-Hiccup's POV-

I'm running through the forest, straight to the abandoned cabin, though, now that Toothless lives there, I guess it isn't abandoned anymore. I snap all the twigs and branches in my way as I dash to my new friend's home.

Stumbling occasionally along the way, I finally reach the shack. Toothless is sitting on a rock outside, cooking a whole gutted deer on a spit, completely human, which meant no draconian features, only 9 feet tall, as opposed to eleven, and much paler skin, as well as some black cloth robing.

"Hey, Hiccup!" The tall woman says to me as she notices my presence, "You have any idea why I went hunting with a bow instead of being a dragon?" I'm at a loss for words, I hadn't the slightest. "Uhh," I stumble with my words, attempting to come up with something, "Uhh, maybe you hadn't been thinking much about it, and just forgot to be a dragon?"

"Meh. Hey, want some deer?"

"Yeah, that'd be nice." I take a cut from the deer and start eating. "Remember to salt the meat and then flash heat it when you're done. It'll preserve the meat so it's usable later."

"Thanks, man. Now, I think it's time for your dragon training!"

"But, I just got out of dragon training! Just now, like a half hour ago."

"Why do humans have training to be a dragon? What-what does THAT have to do with ANYTHING? HOW does that even WORK?!"

"Oh. I thought... Hahaha! No, it's training for humans to FIGHT dragons, not BE them. Hahaha! Sorry! That was a dumb statement!"

She bitch-slaps me, and it leaves a red mark. "That's gonna stay there for two days now. I hope you learn your lesson about being so damn stupid during training. I'm not here to be all buddy buddy until AFTER training, which started THE SECOND I MENTIONED IT." I recoil at her sudden anger, blushing furiously in embarrassment.

"I-I'm sorry, please forgive me."

"It's good that you show general respect to all, but remember, never beg. No matter how much you want something, you, as a respectable dragon, may never beg. For ANYTHING. Even a completely dehydrated dragon will not beg for water. Keep this in mind. On that note, today's lesson is dragon mannerisms and ethics! It's important to know how to properly speak with a dragon before you try, or you'll end up pissing them off."

"Heh, right."

So after several hours of instruction, I have learned a lot of new draconian manners, which don't really differ much from human manners. I also learned that apparently I'm married to Toothless, and that, while inappropriate considering current circumstances, as soon as it IS appropriate, I'd have to either let her move in with me, or I'd have to move in with her.

"Alright, Hiccup! That'd be the end of our lesson, so whatever you'd like to go do now, go do it, and tomorrow, I'm going to teach you basic dragon behavior. Not like today, I mean like how to turn yourself into one and then how to fly around. Fire is the next day. We have only a few bases to cover, but I want it done quickly."

"Okay, but some long lessons are going to have to be two day, I do, after all, have duties at the village."

"Alright, fine. See ya tomorrow! Or, of course, if you want to come over tonight, and-"

"Ahahahaha! Yeah! Okay! I'll see you tomorrow!" I say awkwardly, and I dash off, leaving behind a frowning Toothless, tsking, and shaking her head.

When I reach the village, it had begun to rain, and I was drenched, I had only managed to get there in time for dinner. Upon entering the Great Hall, I hear Gobber ask, "And where did Hiccup go wrong?"

"He showed up." Snotlout says, believing himself correct. "No, I had inappropriately placed myself on the field, stupid. Besides, when in a battle against a common enemy, specifically, dragons, we need to set our differences on the table and then rush away after the dragons." I say, explaining the very PURPOSE of dragon training.

"Ahh... Thank you... Hiccup..." Gobber says, tilting his head a bit.

"No problem."

"Ah, yes, well, THIS," Gobber tosses a book on the table, "Is the the Dragon Manual. You need to live and breath this stuff." Lightning crash. "No raid tonight. Read up. We have more training tomorrow. And Hiccup, you may find the information a bit more useful tha-" I give him my best glare. "Just study up." And Gobber leaves.

"You guys read, I'll go kill stuff." Snotlout says, standing up. "Sit your ass down NOW!" I yell at him. He is stunned, looking at me wide eyed. I grab my food, and sit down in front of the book. "Knowing your enemy," I say calmly, "Is knowing how to kill your enemy." We spend the next 4 hours studying, including review.

Yah, so I'm sorry about taking so long to update. My other story is so short because the first chapter is just an intro, so, just take a look, and tell me if you want me to continue, because if you don't, I'll just let it sit there... Unfinished... Pissing off the OCDs... Just take a look please?


	7. Chapter 7

How to Sort of BE a Dragon? Chapter 7

Sorry this took so long!

Thanks Redwolf.

-Hiccup's POV-

Well, at least they studied. The others and I are in the arena, fighting off, err, running away from a Zippelback, who is spraying gas at everyone. I get a mouthful of gas, and seeing what it does to me, I say, "Damn. I can't taste my tongue anymore." Gobber told us to douse the heads, and so far, The dragon and I are the only ones who have yet to be soaked.

"Could you just go back into your cage? It's obvious we're not gonna win." I ask the dragon, not quite seeing where it is. "Ilkin, it is YOU who picked this fight, and it is I who will finish it!" The head on the right says. Funny thing, it's not always right or left, but only one Zippelback head has a brain, and can talk.

"No I didn't, I never formally challenged you, can you please just go, we're not gonna win."

"Never!"

"Who are you talking to?" Astrid asks me. "Obviously the dragon." I reply. Astrid just gives me a weird look. "It's his fault!" I gesture in his direction.

The Zippelback headbutts me, and I fall down, though it doesn't hurt nearly as bad as it should. "Fine! If that's how you want it, THATS HOW I'LL GIVE IT TO YA!" I yell, giving him a left hook, knocking his heads together. I run between the necks and punch as hard as I can where his necks meet. "Grahaaahh!?" He yells in pain. "Fine! Fine! I concede! I'll go back to my cage!" And runs back where he said he would. I follow and shut the doors behind him.

I turn around and see everyone staring at me slack-jawed, except for Gobber, who was expecting a bit more from DragonMan. "You know what, Astrid?" And I show her the big cut on my arm, "It IS only fun if you get a scar out if it!" And I walk off, headed for the forest. Aren't I a badass?

-What is this? No! No! Nooooooo! It's a line break!-

"Today," Toothless tells me, in her semi dragon form, "We will focus on turning into a dragon. Now, I want you to grab inside yourself, with your mind, and pull what you find out, all the way." I do as she says, and... Nothing. I try again, nothing.

"Focus on grabbing something reptilian and pulling... Oh! You're human, so! Ahahaha! Pull a scaly cloak around yourself, then, but focus only on the scales for now, this will make you scaly, without completely turning you into a dragon." I focus and do as she said, closing my eyes. When I open my eyes, I see I'm covered in a layer of sapphire scales. "Uh, wow," I say, "This is odd... But SO COOL at the same time!"

"I'm glad you think so, just as I'm glad we can skip a few steps."

"Skip?"

"Yeah we were going to do some other transformative tests, but only one kind of dragon has THOSE scales."

"What kind?"

"The Moonfury. Ironic, huh? Your friend is a Nightfury, so the last thing you'd expect is to have 'fury', huh?"

"What's it look like?"

"Take a Nightmare as a base, make the snout straight, only curving at the end, triple the physical size of everything, put the sapphire scales on it, put a whole paw where there are only claws on its wing, minus the palm, so just add finger-like things to more effectively manipulate things, an BOOM!"

"BOOM?"

"Yup, BOOM! Ya got a Moonfury!"

So I close my eyes, aaaannnndddd... When I open them I am a fully fledged dragon. "Wow!" I exclaim, "I really AM a dragon!"

"Yup, and and a downright sexy one at that." She raises her hand to her lips, a look in her eye, and it makes me uncomfortable.

"Uh... Yeah, okay, sure, I, uh, sure. WHAT ABOUT RAIDS? Do I have to participate in those?"

"Most dragons do it to give food to our Queen, I do it when I just wanna be destructive. I've seen the shit you do to their houses, so why not, once you're combat trained do it ON PURPOSE? I mean, it's not like you have to kill anyone, right?"

"It might be fun to blow up Snotlout's house..."

"That's the spirit, Hiccup!"

-End-

I've made a decision. Every chapter divisible by five will be approximately the length of three chapters. Fun, right? I hope so.

Oh, and I expect reviews this time. Reviews are more important than more views. It doesn't mean I'm not appreciative of all the views, over two thousand? Thank you! But, still, reviews.

CreeperBlast is all typical. Typicality!


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